"TELL ME WHAT TO DO"

"As a coach, you tell me what I need to do.”

This is a mindset I often encounter in company-sponsored coaching engagements.

Leaders who come into the space are used to guidance, direction, and expertise. They also see this as an opportunity to get an outside perspective on how other leaders may be navigating the situations or challenges that they are experiencing.

So it is only natural that they expect the coach will diagnose, advise, and offer solutions or expert tips. 

And yet, as a coach, that is exactly what I consciously refrain from doing.

This can feel unsettling at first.

There are moments when the leader may even begin to question the value of the engagement - If I cannot leverage the coach’s ‘wisdom’ or experience, then what is the point?

This is often a delicate phase in the journey.

A space where I find myself holding two intentions at once - to ensure the leader feels supported, and at the same time, gently but firmly, returning the agency of the conversation back to them.

In action it looks something like this - Not stepping in with answers or filling the silence too quickly, or perhaps not taking away the discomfort that often precedes insight.

If not earlier, by the time we arrive at the mid-point check-in and the leader pauses to reflect on their journey so far, they notice that the progress they have made feels authentic.

And that much of it has come from tapping into their own inner wisdom.

It is in that moment that the value of the process truly lands.

Because while it may be easy for me to offer quick tips early on - and perhaps even “win them over” - I make a conscious choice to trust the leader, and to trust the process.

In my experience, here is why that choice matters:

• The leader experiences something fundamentally different from what they are used to or expected, and that invites a deeper level of presence

• They feel trusted with the agency to lead the direction of the session, rather than being led

• It begins to feel like a true partnership, where both coach and leader are equally invested in what unfolds

  
  

And perhaps most importantly, they begin to realise that the answers they were seeking were never outside of them to begin with.